Have I Been in a Narcissistic or Emotionally Harmful Relationship?

A brief self-reflection tool for untangling the confusion.

If you're feeling unsure—spinning in memories, second-guessing yourself, or wondering, “Was it really that bad?”—you're not alone. Relationships marked by narcissism or emotional manipulation often wear disguises: charm, concern, authority, even duty. This short reflection isn’t meant to diagnose anything, but it might help illuminate patterns that left you feeling small, drained, or caught in someone else’s chaos.

Take a breath. Be honest. Go gently.

Full Name *

Email *

Did the relationship begin with intense attention, praise, or closeness that felt unusually fast or 'too good to be true'? *

Yes

Did the other person seem to reflect or echo your dreams, values, or identity in a way that felt 'meant to be'? *

Yes

Over time, did you feel like you had to tiptoe around their moods, reactions, or disapproval? *

Yes

Did they make you question your memory, instincts, or emotions—even when you felt certain of what happened? *

Yes

Were your needs, preferences, or limits often dismissed, ignored, or reframed as selfish or unreasonable? *

Yes

Did you feel like things were always your fault—even when you were trying your best to help or understand? *

Yes

Did they alternate between warmth and coldness in ways that left you emotionally unsteady or confused?

Yes

Did you start to doubt yourself—your confidence, your voice, or your sense of reality—around them? *

Yes

Did you feel emotionally trapped, obligated, or mentally stuck—even if nothing was physically stopping you from stepping away? *

Yes

Did they reach out with charm, concern, or promises after hurtful behavior—only for the pattern to repeat? *

Yes

Do you still replay interactions or conversations in your mind, wondering if you misunderstood or overreacted?

Yes

Do you feel afraid, ashamed, or unsure about sharing what happened with others for fear they won’t believe you?

Yes

Is Your Experience Related to a Parent? *

Yes

Did your parent expect you to meet their emotional needs, act as their confidant, or carry their burdens—even as a child? *

Yes

Did they control your choices, beliefs, or relationships—framing it as 'for your own good' or 'just love'? *

Yes

Were your emotions often minimized, dismissed, or punished—even when you were hurting? *

Yes

Did you feel more like a burden than a beloved presence? *

Yes

Were your achievements ignored or overshadowed—while your mistakes were exaggerated or used against you? *

Yes

Did they create competition or comparisons between you and siblings or other children? *

Yes

Even now, do you feel guilt, fear, or anxiety when setting boundaries or expressing yourself around them? *

Yes

Did you feel like love or approval was conditional on your behavior, performance, or silence? *

Yes

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